Three A.M. Confessions

Guilt, shame and blame was a constant state of being for me growing up a Catholic school girl.

I would wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I would sit on the toilet at three a.m. and I would ask myself “what did you eat yesterday?” My mind would review the chocolate, bread, cookies and or alcohol that I guiltily ate and then the punishment would begin.

I beat myself up black and blue with mean unloving thoughts of inadequacy, judgment and blame. I feared that I would get beaten by the fat stick, my clothes would never fit and that I was always going to hate my body.

This middle of the night punishment went on for years! No wonder I continued to hold on to weight, food cravings, binges and obsessions.

Have you ever done this?

I have never shared this with anyone! Can you believe it?

This entire drama played out in my mind every single night! No one knew, I hardly new I was doing this to myself.

It wasn’t until I began practicing yoga and mediation that I was able to clearly distinguish the difference between the “monkey mind” and the “loving real Self” that dwells inside like a slow burning flame every day of our lives.

I have studied, lived and practiced the “law of attraction” since I was 18 years old.

As the years have flown by my understanding of the magnificent power of the universe and the law of attraction has increased and NOW I finally get it!

Thoughts are powerful!

My three a.m. punishment time attracted more weight and poor self esteem than if I ate the healthiest food on the planet.

Now I believe that eating healthy foods is essential to a radiant life but the most important piece to being happy and healthy is being able to discern your thoughts.

How do you do this?

Begin to observe your thoughts just like you would watch a movie. Your mind is the projector, when you observe, your mind is “watching” the thoughts. When you watch a movie you are not attached to the movie, you are simply watching. This is exactly what you must do with your thoughts. All you have to do is watch your thoughts.

Begin to notice when your “monkey mind” is taking over.

What does the monkey mind look and act like? Thoughts of inadequacy, fear, doubt, worry, shame, blame, guilt, jealousy, hatred, comparison, judgment, lack etc. These are all ego based fears which are not real.

The only thing that is REAL and absolute is LOVE!

How do you know when love is speaking or acting? You have thoughts of kindness, compassion, generosity, abundance, hope, peace, happiness, excitement, acceptance and joy.

Your REAL SELF is sitting in the right side of your heart every day of your beautiful life. Your real SELF is unaffected by pain or pleasure, have or have not, loneliness or boredom, your real SELF is omnipresent, omnipotent, limitless and formless.
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